I always said I wouldn't get married. The thought of being tethered to someone until death do us part was a terrifying prospect for a lone wolf like me, but Pablo came along and after 12 years saying yes just felt right.
We had been engaged for 18 months with no wedding plans in sight. There were so many choices to make and everything was so expensive – every time I opened a wedding magazine, or started researching, I instantly felt overwhelmed. My first instinct was to say fuck it and run away to Vegas. I'd always loved the idea of a rebellious elopement but Pablo is much more traditional and since this was a day to bind our relationship it had to be a joint decision.
So it was back to the drawing board. I looked at hundreds of venues, dresses, and got a lot of unsolicited advice but nothing felt quite right. It was not the planning itself that was leaving me feeling so stressed – I had assisted in planning huge events in my previous job (including banquets in Buckingham Palace and Mansion House) so that side of thing was all in hand. It was making it feel like "us" that I struggled with.
Pablo and I are both really laid back casual kinda people, I was proposed to on the graffiti splashed streets of Bushwick and we celebrated by drinking beer in a dive bar and stealing the glasses as a souvenir. Even the simplest of wedding venues seemed too polished and elaborate to match our style and I really didn't want something that didn't feel authentically us.
After almost two years of being unable to commit to anything other than the fact we wanted to get married, we once again returned to my default fuck it attitude, stripped everything back, wrote a list of what was actually important to us, and decided to keep things just as casual as we are.
We booked Islington Town Hall, headed to Scotland for Christmas and told our close family to block out 15th March in their diaries.
During this time I was also working on my Love Your Way card collection. Sketching out my frustrations was hugely cathartic and help us whittle down what we actually wanted.
Being married was about the unique love we have for each other.
A celebration that came authentically from the heart.
A gesture of love that we had held for a decade.
It was about the two of us.
If I was to plan a wedding all over again the advice I would give myself would be not to listen to the noise and the pressure that comes in from all sides the moment you mention wedding (and a little after you're done).
In my experience it does not matter how hard you try there will be at least one person who doesn't understand or agree with the way you choose to celebrate your love and you know what they don't have to!
Your love is an individual bond that no one but the two of you will truly understand. So plan for that love and those who support it.
*Both images of Pablo and I are by the awesome Kaye Ford , in the next post I'm going to share how and why we selected our suppliers and how it made the day extra special.